I have a hypothetical question for you. If a person was suffering because everything in their life had become emotionally unbearable and their future seemed hopeless and devoid of happiness and opportunity, would they be condemned to suffer in the afterlife if they chose to check out
before their time?
A.
Susyn:
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, so it’s important to note that.
Contrary to most religious ideas about suicide, I feel there are no accidents in the Universe. If a person chooses to take their life for whatever reason, a greater plan must be unfolding. Though I personally do not believe in making such a choice, there are all sorts of positions I have never been in.
I know people who have attempted suicide unsuccessfully when things looked hopeless for them. Months or years later, they are all grateful that they failed. Life is an ever-evolving process; no matter how grim life may seem at one point, it invariably improves.
I have also known people who appeared to have taken their own life accidentally or who perhaps changed their mind at the last minute after it was too late. Then there are carefully planned out, deliberate suicides. In those cases where the suicide attempt was successful, the transition into the spirit world seems to be similar to other death experiences.
When someone is considering suicide, it’ usually because some aspect of their life is not working. For example, they may feel lonely or abused, or they may be suffering from money troubles, a broken heart, or a life-threatening illness. Committing suicide might eliminate the financial or health issues they are facing, but the emotional aspects of their depression will carry over into the afterlife.
When a loved one dies naturally or according to fate, everyone involved is touched with deep sadness and a sense of loss, including the person who has crossed over. The same of course holds true for those who choose to take their own lives.
The feeling of being in heaven or hell can occur whether we have left this world or not. As one of my favorite sayings goes, Religion is for people who are afraid of going to hell; spirituality is for those who have already been there.
When someone feels desperate enough to take their own life, they are experiencing a type of hell. Since hell can be experienced here as well as beyond, changing states is clearly not the answer.
I do not believe that a person who chooses to take their own life suffers extra pain, though I do believe that we take our troubles with us to the other side, where we continue to work on them. Because working through these issues is easier to do on the earth plane, I encourage people to remember that suicide is not a way to escape life’s troubles. No matter what struggles one is walking through, there are higher spiritual purposes and gifts hidden in the process. If we choose to check out
early, we will miss the opportunities the Universe has in store for us next.
*****
Oceania:
The fact that you’re asking about suicide suggests that it’s on your mind. If you personally feel suicidal, I urge you to seek medical attention immediately. If you are asking on behalf of a loved one, then please encourage them to do so.
If you or your loved one are not ready to seek in-person help, call the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or visit www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org for more information. You can self-soothe in the moment with a butterfly hug: Hug yourself and alternately squeeze your upper arms in a gentle rhythm while envisioning a safe place and affirming that all is well in this instant of time.
Thoughts of suicide are a symptom of depression, which can be treated with medication and psychotherapy. This is why suicide is called a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Depression is like looking out a dirty window and mistakenly believing the world to be dark. Seeking help washes the window.
As a therapist, I regularly witness extreme suffering, and there have been times when I personally wished to exit a world that seemed so cruel. What kept me here was the thought that by staying alive, I could do some good. As poet Emily Dickinson wrote, If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.
I believe in a benevolent higher power, so I don’t think anyone is condemned to suffer in the afterlife for any reason. However, those who drop out of Learning to Endure Suffering
class (Life-On-Earth 101) may have to repeat it.
People consider suicide because they don’t think they can endure suffering, but it can be endured by feeling it consciously and expressing it to a loving listener. Suffering gets easier with practice; enduring difficulties makes us stronger and raises our self-esteem.
Suicide is something you can always do LATER. By postponing it, you grant yourself time to learn new coping mechanisms. Unexpected solutions can appear if we stay open to possibilities and humbly ask for help.
Cognitive Therapy, in which irrational thoughts are challenged, is the most effective type of therapy for depression. Dr. David Burns wrote a book about it called Feeling Good. Examples of distorted thoughts are overgeneralization (seeing a single occurrence as a pattern,) mental filters (dwelling on a negative detail while ignoring positives), and catastrophizing (exaggerating the significance of an event).
I remind suicidal people that they WILL die eventually; death IS on the way! Remembering our mortality can provide relief and give us permission to make the most of our temporary visit to Earth.
Astrea:
Many times in life we hear, “You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT.” Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown’s book was all it took to get you there.
Even though you hadn’t read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!
While I don’t usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity – you gotta love it!
I like your description of “getting caught.” That’s exactly what it feels like, isn’t it? One minute you’re free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!
As a little kid, I loved that “feeling of return.” With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.
I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family’s interest in “psychic stuff” will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.
You’ll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she’ll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn’t nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it’s STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!
Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.
A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don’t get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you’re doing here on Earth.
You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.