How can my spirit guides help me handle my grief and depression over the loss of my son? My son’s first birthday would have been a few days ago. I thought I was handling his death fairly well, but now I seem to be slipping into a very dark period and I’m not sure how to help myself. I know my spirit guides can help me, but I don’t know how.
Angel
Susyn:
Few things are more challenging than living with the loss of a child. You have my heartfelt condolences. To cope with your grief, I believe it would be most helpful for to you to gain understanding of why his time on earth was so brief.
A few years ago, I attended a seminar held by an author who had penned a version of The Tibetan Book of the Dead. He relayed a fascinating story about a couple who took a trip to India accompanied by their two-year-old son. While visiting a temple there, the toddler suddenly collapsed and died on the steps. In their grief, the parents sought out the priest of this temple. To explain to them what had happened, the priest told them that in a past life, their son had fulfilled all his wishes save one: to visit this particular temple. Once he was in the temple, his mission was complete, so his spirit left his body at that exact time and place.
It is helpful to remember that there is a higher plan at work and that we enter each incarnation for specific purposes. Even though his life was a short one, I am certain there were many joys and lessons your son brought to you while he was here, and that you continue to learn valuable things about him, yourself and Spirit as a result of his passing.
You can take comfort in the fact that he chose you to be his mother, for he knew that you would be the perfect person to nurture and protect him and then allow him to pass when the time was right. When these moments of sadness overtake you, try to view them as further gifts from him, for these strong emotions are designed to expand your awareness and understanding of the plan Spirit has for each of us.
If you’d like to know more about what his specific purpose was and why he had to leave so soon, I recommend you contact a psychic who specializes in channeling. I believe that our loved ones send us signs from the spirit world, and that the more open we are to receiving these signs, the more will appear. When your grief feels like too much to bear, remember that your son is trying to comfort you from beyond, and ask for signs from him. Unlike your spirit guides, he is your own special angel. He is at peace now and wants the same for you, so he will try to bring you comfort and lead you to understanding.
Though this may not make sense to those of us here in the physical, it’s possible that he felt he could better serve you in spirit form. The good news is that your son lives on in your heart and memories. Since your spiritual bond is eternal, you are sure to be reunited one day.
*****
Oceania:
I’m so very sorry for your loss, and I’m glad you reached out to us for support. That means you’re already on the path of healing. Please know that it’s normal that your son’s birthday stirred up your grief again, for holidays and milestones tend to do that.
You’re right: your spirit guides can and will help you. As for how, those three letters – H-O-W – suggest the answer: by being Humble, Open and Willing. Your guides may have inspired you to reach out and write to us, and I’m sure they will lead you to other forms of support. For starters, it would be extremely helpful for you to participate in a support group for bereaved parents, for we often receive messages from Spirit and our guides through the words of other people.
There are also things that you can do to feel better and move through your grief with greater ease. Be extra gentle with yourself. Nurture and pamper yourself during this vulnerable time. Welcome your feelings; don’t judge, minimize or try to get rid of them. Embrace and sit with them for as long as you need to. Take your time.
When we try to escape painful feelings, we interrupt our natural healing process. We become depressed and shut down because it takes a tremendous amount of energy to hold back feelings. Our thoughts darken, we feel fatigued, and nothing seems enjoyable. This is because we have shut down our feeling system. Instead, give yourself permission to sob, wail, scream, pound the bed with your fists, tear up a phone book, grunt, shake and tremble, curl up in a ball and hide in the corner. These are ways of experiencing and expressing your feelings. Anything goes as long as you do not harm yourself, others, or property you might later regret destroying.
I’m certain your baby is one of your angels. You had a precious visit with him for a while. Now, talk directly to him and say how you feel. Trust that he and your other guides hear your pleas, and are already responding. Open your heart to receiving their signs, nudges and cosmic hugs.
Shakespeare’s most beloved plays include silly comedies and gut-wrenching tragedies. Audiences do not favor one above the other, for both are needed to reflect the full spectrum of human experience. Be in your dark period because that’s what is authentic and real today, and rest assured that you won’t get stuck there. Grief comes in waves that over time become less frequent, less intense, and shorter in duration. Life will carry you as you spiral through her many cycles: winter and summer, night and day, grief and joy, goodbye and hello.
Astrea:
Many times in life we hear, “You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT.” Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown’s book was all it took to get you there.
Even though you hadn’t read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!
While I don’t usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity – you gotta love it!
I like your description of “getting caught.” That’s exactly what it feels like, isn’t it? One minute you’re free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!
As a little kid, I loved that “feeling of return.” With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.
I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family’s interest in “psychic stuff” will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.
You’ll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she’ll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn’t nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it’s STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!
Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.
A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don’t get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you’re doing here on Earth.
You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.