I am happily married to a great husband and we have a five-year-old son together. I keep thinking and dreaming about a man I had an affair with before I was married to my husband. I feel like we have some kind of spiritual connection. I can feel when he is thinking about me and I still love him very much. What can I do to break free from him and move on?
Erica
Susyn:
It’s normal to carry feelings for people who have touched our lives in powerful ways. Since you are ready to move on and break free of your onetime lover, however, I recommend the following ritual for getting final closure.
For this Ritual to Release a Past Love, you will need: 3 votive candles (1 blue, 1 green, 1 yellow), 1 smokey quartz or brown topaz crystal, amber incense, scissors, 3 pieces of rope or twine 5″ to 8″ in length, 3 small bowls, purified or filtered water, 3 whole bay leaves, sea salt and 1 red apple.
Begin by placing the candles in front of you. From left to right, place the blue, then the green, then the yellow. Place a small bowl in front of each candle. Fill the center bowl with purified or filtered water. Light the incense and then each candle. Set the three bay leaves in the first bowl and then set the smokey quartz crystal on top of them. Place the apple in the third bowl. Lay the three pieces of rope, scissors and salt container in front of the middle bowl.
Remove one of the bay leaves from the first bowl, sprinkle it with salt, and then drop it into the water bowl. Focus on the blue candle, holding the smokey quartz crystal in your left hand while you focus on the relationship you are ending. This will enable you to release any telepathic communication or compelling thoughts that are keeping you connected to this person.
Next, pull another bay leaf from the first bowl and repeat the process, focusing on the green candle. Continue to hold the crystal in your left hand and meditate on the emotional aspects of the relationship; how it made you feel and what was lacking in the heart aspects of this connection. This will help you release any pent up or lingering feelings you still carry about this relationship.
Third, take the last bay leaf and repeat the process, this time focusing on the yellow candle and meditating on regaining your personal power. When you have finished this process, pick up the three pieces of rope or twine, and one at a time, cut them in half into the water bowl.
With the first cut, say out loud, I sever all communication and intellectual ties with _________.
With the second cut, say out loud, I sever all emotional ties with _________.
On the third and final cut, say out loud, I sever all spiritual ties with _________ and call my personal power back to me.
To complete the ritual, eat the apple. With each bite, think of one reason you are grateful this relationship is completed. Continue this process until the apple is consumed.
*****
Oceania:
Wow! You’re happily married to a great husband with whom you share a son – what blessings! It’s natural to feel love for an ex if the relationship was meaningful, but when thoughts and dreams become bothersome, they are no longer reflections of love but rather obsessions: endless mental loops that serve to distract you from the present.
Like drugs, obsessions help us avoid reality, so take an inventory of your inner feelings and external life circumstances and ask: What needs my attention?
The answer will be where your true work lies. Once that has been dealt with, your obsession will lift.
Perhaps as a child, you coped with difficulties through fantasies and daydreams; if so, that old habit may prevent you from living fully in the moment. For that matter, the affair you had years ago may itself be an example of you using fantasy to distract yourself.
Don’t miss out on today by dwelling in the past. Confidently tackle your present challenges and enjoy the abundant simple pleasures life is offering you. Be the best person, partner and mother you can be. It may be that you need an outlet for your creativity, so consider an art project or some volunteer work.
One way to dismantle an obsession is to scrutinize it. You may be idealizing the affair; swirling memories can seem shiny and bright like hypnotic crystals. Break the spell by reminding yourself, If the affair was meant to grow, it would have! The proof is in the pudding, and this affair ended. You calling it an affair
implies there was deception involved, loyalties betrayed or secrets kept. Those facts alone should be enough to taint your glossy memories.
If it was NOT a secret affair, you might consider extending an invitation of friendship to this man. Exes who are not toxic can remain in our lives; the passage of time allows us to shift gears and begin to relate as friends or extended family. Could you and your husband meet up with your ex and his current partner, if he has one? Obsessions tend to dissolve in the bright light of reality.
You feel a spiritual connection to him because you served important purposes in each otherís lives at the time. Thereís no need to break free of the past if you can own it and integrate it, so identify the lessons learned and the purpose the affair served. It may have represented your desire for a loving partner or family, which you found in your husband and son. View the affair as a bridge that helped you get where you wanted to go, and remember that while bridges are valuable, you probably wouldn’t be comfortable living on one.
Astrea:
Many times in life we hear, “You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT.” Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown’s book was all it took to get you there.
Even though you hadn’t read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!
While I don’t usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity – you gotta love it!
I like your description of “getting caught.” That’s exactly what it feels like, isn’t it? One minute you’re free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!
As a little kid, I loved that “feeling of return.” With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.
I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family’s interest in “psychic stuff” will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.
You’ll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she’ll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn’t nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it’s STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!
Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.
A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don’t get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you’re doing here on Earth.
You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.