Over 14 years ago, I broke up with a man I had dated for five years. I decided I couldn’t marry him because he had a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality, plus he liked to play around with other ladies. Then I suddenly began dreaming of him almost daily. Now, every day I have strong emotions about him, and find myself thinking about him. I have done many things to try to put a stop to all of this. I’ve tried cord cutting, crystal healing, and spell work. I have used the freezing ritual and put him on ice a number of times, but none of it is working, for I find myself endlessly thinking about him. I also feel him as if he is right next to me frequently. I have never experienced anything like this before. Though I love his good side dearly, I know this man is not good for me. I want to this connection to be done and over. I never want to see him again in this or any other lifetime. Is it possible to completely sever our connection on a soul level? What can I do?
Sara
Susyn:
It sounds like you’ve made many valiant attempts to rid yourself of these constant thoughts of your ex. There are two possible reasons this is continuing, and a number of things you can do to resolve this matter. Since these dreams and emotions came on suddenly and you sometimes feel him near you, I wonder if he has passed. If you are somehow able to confirm that he has died recently, this would explain your sudden onset of ex-fever. It could be that the good side of his spirit has come back to you and is asking for forgiveness.
If this turns out to be the case, you might schedule a reading with a medium/channeler so you can communicate with him. It may help a great deal if you grant him forgiveness and ask him to move forward into the light. The channeler can also help you sever your connection on a soul level.
If it turns out that he is still alive, there is a spiritual reason for the phenomena you’ve been experiencing. Simply put, it means you still have some work to do to complete this relationship experience. Again, if you haven’t forgiven him for past transgressions, you have never really moved on. It is surprising how many years can pass without giving someone a second thought, only to have their memory suddenly return with a vengeance.
Start by revisiting the five years you shared together. Write down your memories of the relationship, highlighting the good as well as the bad times. Once you have brought this time frame back to the forefront of your mind, it will be easier to accomplish emotional and soul-level clearing.
Next, write him a letter. You won’t send the letter, so say whatever you want to him, whether that involves anger, hurt or fear. At the end of the letter, write that you are ready to forgive him for all that went on in the past, and ask his forgiveness for any hurt or pain you may have caused him. Finally, ask him to go away and leave you in peace. Once it’s complete, burn the letter. This will take your thoughts, feelings and message into the realm of energy. Because he is connected to you on a spirit level, this is the ideal way to get your message across.
If his memory comes to you after this, his soul is deliberately trying to connect with you. Immediately, ask that he go away. You may have to do this a few times before he gets the message. I also suggest sleeping with a turquoise stone under your pillow to eliminate the dreams you keep having of him. Taking action to address your ex directly through these spiritual methods should enable you to be free of this obsession once and for all.
*****
Oceania:
When we’re ready to let someone go, symbolic rituals like cord cutting, freezing, and detaching with love can help seal the deal, but when we’re NOT ready, such activities are masked ways of sustaining a connection, just like calling someone to tell them you won’t be calling anymore.
It could be that you haven’t allowed yourself to fully cherish and grieve the positive side of your former relationship, so I recommend that you stop trying to get rid of your ex. What we resist persists, so turn this around and move energetically towards your ex. Imagine a mending or thawing ritual in which you celebrate the warm feelings and good memories he inspired.
If you have photos or mementos, revisit those and smile. Hug yourself and imagine you’re hugging HIM. Feel yourself absorbing all the parts of him that enriched your life; soak them up and take them in! You will likely discover that you’re better able to release your ex if you ritually squeeze him and hold on tight! Whatever we focus our attention on expands, so whether we’re pulling someone close or pushing them away, we are strengthening our bond with them. The only way to diminish a bond is to focus on something ELSE.
A former client told me her therapy goal was to distance herself from her father. She came to every session armed with horror stories about what a negative, destructive presence he was. In time, I pointed out that she herself was holding him close by endlessly scrutinizing him and by donating time and energy to someone who really wasn’t in her life that much! She argued that it didn’t feel safe to stop thinking about him, as she felt she had to remain vigilant to protect herself from his influence.
It took faith and practice for her to relax and shift mental gears. A first, she had to force herself to talk about things she loved and wanted in her life. Eventually, a growing enthusiasm for her positive goals pushed aside obsessive thoughts of her father. You might try starting a collage of words and images that reflect what you enjoy most in your life, as well as things you wish to explore, study or manifest.
Daily dreams of your ex were probably not random events; more likely, something happened in 2011 that resurrected him. Perhaps you were falling in love at that time, and thoughts of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide surfaced as an overblown warning to proceed with caution. Perhaps you just felt guilty about moving on from this man you once loved. If that’s the case, it’s now time to forgive yourself for leaving him, as you need and deserve more consistent love and care.
Astrea:
Many times in life we hear, “You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT.” Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown’s book was all it took to get you there.
Even though you hadn’t read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!
While I don’t usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity – you gotta love it!
I like your description of “getting caught.” That’s exactly what it feels like, isn’t it? One minute you’re free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!
As a little kid, I loved that “feeling of return.” With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.
I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family’s interest in “psychic stuff” will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.
You’ll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she’ll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn’t nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it’s STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!
Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.
A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don’t get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you’re doing here on Earth.
You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.